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My sister died

I never thought in a million years that I would have to say, "My sister died." Her name is Alycia. She fought a long fight with cancer that ended up wreaking havoc on her body. I loved her. I loved her deeply. It is surreal that she no longer takes up space on the planet. I was there when she died. I saw her in the casket and saw the casket lowered to the ground. The last time I talked to her was the Thursday before she passed. She was not using a lot of words, but she knew I was there. She told me she loved me and that she knew that I loved her. The rest of the time was moaning here and there. She wanted me to move some pillows. That was the last time. On Friday, we turned her, cleaned her, and talked to her, but she could not respond. One Saturday, I went in throughout the night to make sure she was breathing. I missed her 1 a.m. meds, but woke up about 5 a.m. or so and gave her a dose. Talked to her. I went back asleep and got on a prayer call about 7. Before I got on the ...
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Church on Trial

  Church on Trial He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8 Here’s a brief summary of Micah 6. Through the prophet, God put His people on trial and, as if in court, made a case against them. He testified of His goodness to them and witnessed that they had rebelled and rejected Him in return. After being put on trial, the people replied to His charge by essentially saying, “You ask too much!” They listed a string of rituals and impossible requests. They essentially told God that He was impossible to please. “What do You want from us?”, they implored. God’s response was one not filled with rules and temple rituals, but one that instructs them on how to ultimately please Him. What was God saying through the prophet? What is He saying to His people? Do Justice. Love Mercy. Walk Humbly. Do Justice - Give yourselves to others and, don't just seek justice, but serve justice. Ac...

Back to Basics

As a young singer in high school, I had the privilege of being able to take voice lessons. Altogether, I took lessons for about 15 years or so. Although singing can be fun and is a performance art, voice lessons are not very glamorous. It is marked by hours of mundane practice - woodshedding. The most common teaching theme I learned was, “Don’t get too fancy” and “Practice the fundamentals.” They stressed that for me to grow as a vocalist, I needed to practice my vocalises and stick with the basics of sound vocal production. Only then would I be able to perform increasingly difficult pieces. The Apostle Peter instructs, "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation." (1 Peter 2:2 NIV) Peter’s allusion to babies and milk is interesting. How basic is that? I’m reminded of the instruction given to us in my childhood congregation when someone got saved. The instruction was to 1) Read your bible and pray daily and 2) Fast. It was ...

Speaking Truth in Love

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3 NIV We are in the throes of “silly season.” That is what we call election season in my line of work. This season, which started early this go-around, is wrought with vitriol, lies, and, at best, strongly worded critique about ideas that oppose our opinion and understanding of the truth. The bitterness is played out in living color on television and in the cesspool that is social media. There is no shortage of strong opinions and, frankly, it can be overwhelming. I caught myself experiencing a lot of anxiety about the outcome of the election and have spewed my own negative talk.   Recently, I heard the Spirit of God saying, “Cut it out!” His charge to me was reflected in the words of Paul in Ephesian 4. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up ac...

Back in Therapy

I am still on this journey. My negative critical parent ego yells, "Are you STILL on this journey?!" My rebellious child whines, "I don't wanna be on this journey." My adult encourages, "Life is a journey and its OK." Due to some extreme stressors in my life, all of my issues have been surfacing like crazy. I realized that it would be helpful to talk to someone. I'm back in therapy as a way to get out of my head, get my emotions and junk out of my head, and talk to someone without having to reciprocate. Friends should not be therapists, they should be friends. Spouses are not therapists, they are partners. I can only give to my friends and spouse when I am healthy and stable, so...I'm back in therapy. It has been very helpful to learn about transactional analysis that uses the parent, adult, and child ego states to frame our behavior. It is really helping me to interpret my behavior and how (and why) I experience people in the way that I do. Wh...

Now That We’ve Found Love, What Are We Going to Do With It?

Isaiah 61:1: “The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners…”  You, who are popular music buffs, probably recognize the title of this devotion from a song originally recorded by The O’Jays in 1973. It was written by the prolific producing and songwriting duo, Gamble and Huff. The song has been covered and recreated in multiple times from Martha Reeves to Heavy D and continued to be recorded by others well into 2010. Every time I hear it, the hook reels me in, whether slow, fast or in a reggae style. The lyrics for all of these versions recount some unrequited love where the pursuer is attempting to convince his or her love interest to take what they have to the “next level”.  The lyrics are a little goofy, but I’m drawn to this title because I, we, have truly found Love and Love has found us...

Give Me a Clean Heart

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10 Several shows on television feature home renovations. In these shows, people take houses that most would consider dumps and transforms them into show homes. The stars of one such show pride themselves on finding the smelliest, dirtiest, grossest homes, and rehabilitating them into homes that attract multiple buyers and fetch high prices.  Psalm 51 is a chapter in which King David asks the Lord to renovate and rehabilitate his heart. David asks for God’s mercy and erasure of his transgressions. In 2 Samuel 12, David saw Bathsheba, committed adultery with her, and murdered her husband. This led to a whole series of consequences. His friend Nathan checked him and helped him see that his sin was against God.  David cries out to God in Psalm 51, not just for forgiveness of his actions, but an overhaul of his spirit. You see, David had already transgressed in his heart before he committed his serie...