I am still on this journey. My negative critical parent ego yells, "Are you STILL on this journey?!" My rebellious child whines, "I don't wanna be on this journey." My adult encourages, "Life is a journey and its OK."
Due to some extreme stressors in my life, all of my issues have been surfacing like crazy. I realized that it would be helpful to talk to someone. I'm back in therapy as a way to get out of my head, get my emotions and junk out of my head, and talk to someone without having to reciprocate. Friends should not be therapists, they should be friends. Spouses are not therapists, they are partners. I can only give to my friends and spouse when I am healthy and stable, so...I'm back in therapy.
It has been very helpful to learn about transactional analysis that uses the parent, adult, and child ego states to frame our behavior. It is really helping me to interpret my behavior and how (and why) I experience people in the way that I do.
What I'm learning:
- I cannot control anyone, only my behavior and responses.
- Me responses and behavior are heavily influenced by my upbringing
- Self-awareness and a closed mouth can help me process in the heat of the moment
- Grace and patience go a long way
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